Why I Quit IL Mod Consultancy

This is to finally explain why I “voluntarily” (ha) quit my IL mod consultancy role.

The context at the time, early May 2022, was that various people from the bingo community (most notably PK) were harassing and dogpiling me with false narratives. After I objected to Jeff expecting me to do IL modding because I wasn’t an IL mod, PK declared that I was an IL mod who made all the decisions. Toburr had gassed various people up on this narrative by jumping to conclusions from my participation in discussion of his row deletion case.

IL mods were confused by the drama.

And it was a peak of my suffering at the hands of the bingo community, so I decided to candidly explain what was going on beneath.

The bingo players and their friends (Lego) were never transparent with me over who said what to establish the false narrative of me being an IL mod who made all the decisions. But from their silence and Lego’s continued vague statements about assuming things that weren’t true, I concluded my analysis was right.

How I Discussed Samura1man (optional aside) [CLICK TO EXPAND]

The connection I made with Samura1man was a case of going too far with speculation to bait out truth. The context there was just that two random people had separately told me they were uncomfortable with me because Samu was uncomfortable being in the community while I was there. In reality, I had handled Samu faultlessly, in full view of several witnesses as well, and knew his feelings were solely due to his ego – him taking his professional dismissal (after admitting he wanted the prestige and to do no work) personally, from me being angry with him and inciting his demodding.

Lego made a point of how I was really a mod despite not being a mod. He argued reasonably, but the problem was, arguing this point was his only response to the situation. As such, he condoned the bingo bullying, asserted the false narrative was “valid” and my derision of it “concerning”, and moreover, made a false claim (highlighted) to play into the narrative. All with the same arrogant derisory aggression that he had shown me in every discussion we had previously had about, say, the wiki, my suggestions for improvements to bingo, and the IL leaderboard viewer he had made with total disregard for IL mod input.

The IL mods knew full-well what was wrong with what he was saying, but said absolutely nothing. And that’s how Lego won the war of words and came to bully me out of my role – I quit immediately. I’ll explain the trauma that underpins this in a bit.

A day later, Despin sends me an update on the apparent heavy tribulation of correcting false narratives.

UPDATE 2022/10/16: Evidence from mod chat of what this struggle was like.

This is part of what he alluded to in this doc responding to my ban.

They refused to talk to shout, instead making me relay their complaints to him. They didn’t think he would be receptive to their complaints. My problem with that is that they had never tried, and they had no reason to believe that beyond their own insecurity. So I argued with the mods for weeks, trying to defend shout against their claims. It was exhausting. In the end, I fought to a draw, and some of them gained a little perspective, or so I thought.

After another 2 days, Lego apologised, and conceded his use of speculation to aggress on me.

I replied after 5 days.

The highlights are key here. Lego’s behaviour and the dynamic of the bingo community at the time were directly hitting into my traumas from being misrepresented beyond belief in secret, plus the secret process of narrative correction I had no insight into. Every objection I’ve had since then

• to Jeff’s role in Toburr’s ban,
• to being accosted with a secret private abuse case with signs of conspiratorial involvement from third parties
• to the amount of speculation about my motives and misrepresentation of events in the public ban rationale

comes from this intense fear. If this trauma was enuff to make me quit IL mod consultancy, what’s happened since then will probably just end me.

History Repeats

The false narratives from the bingo community didn’t stop – apparently, this was one we failed to address in reconciliation. From my side, I think it’s because I thought the contention was the right to “express reasonable feelings” even if they were lies, so I falsely assumed these people understood in hindsight what the truth was. Or, like, that somebody (1ups?) had told them.

But anyway, to reprise my earlier words,

Lego made a point of how –I– weak and retroactive consent was not really a mod consent, despite not being a mod it being consent. He argued reasonably, but the problem was, arguing this point was his only response to the situation.

This time, Lego stopped short of “contribut[ing] to the chorus of negativity”. But he didn’t intervene, not to label the false narrative as a “continued behaviour”, not even with a factual clarification, and in this way condoned public lying, despite this time knowing the truth via the primary evidence he has to hand.

Which is a “continued behaviour” of his, a double standard, and a demonstration of his ongoing bias.

In the first case, Toburr and friends gaslit the entire IL mod team over my role in IL modding. In the second, the same group gaslit me, 1ups, FYG, even Jpep and Mlarvitar, over the rational basis for Toburr’s Shine Heads ban.